Sunday, December 28, 2008

Things I've Learned Since Having Boys-Besides The Importance of Good Insurance

1. You can get about 4-5 good years out of a couch.
2. While the target looks plenty big, it is extremely hard to shoot a straight stream.
3. A 4 year old can urinate on the ceiling.
4. Any contact with the outdoors makes a little boy need to pee immediately-front or back yard
5. Any item can become a weapon (so all you "no guns" mommies need to get over it)
6. It is possible to some how get dirty in the bath.
7. Star Wars is the source of life.
8. It is impossible for 2 boys to "stop bothering your brother".
9. It's okay to be dirty and stink cause, and I quote "that's what boys do"(Banks-6).
10. If the house is suddenly quiet you should start praying...HARD, without ceasing...and RUN!
11. It is necessary to check 'the manhood' on a constant basis in order to ensure it is still properly attached.
12. "Do not get muddy" when said to a boy translates into "son, please, whatever you do, immediately find some mud and roll around then run through the house".
13. Standing in the toilet and flushing it is fun.
14. Standing in the shower fully clothed is fun.
15. Standing in the front yard pants around knees and peeing is fun.(sorry Mrs. Bales)
16. Standing on your sister is fun.*
17. Standing on your brother is fun.*
18. Pulling planks off the neighbor's fence is fun. (sorry Elizabeth)
19. Painting the neighbor's garage with mud is fun.(sorry Elizabeth)
20. Life is fun...and a tad messy. (sorry Elizabeth)

*especially if they yell